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6/02/2008 02:03:00 PM
Coolest Athlete Names
Kimbo Slice has a face and a name you won't forget.
Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images
By Lang Whitaker, SI.com
Mixed Martial Arts made it's much-hyped network debut on CBS this weekend. To the disappointment of many who tuned in hoping to see a main event knockout, instead we got a lot of rolling around on the mat. To me, however, the real breakthrough here has been the emergence of a name that will go down in history as one of the coolest athlete names of all time: Kimbo Slice. It sounds exciting, menacing, fun, marketable. Sometimes it doesn't matter how talented an athlete is, it's how cool his name sounds. Here's my top five coolest athlete names. I thought of about 50 contenders, but that up to you guys to fill in the rest...
1. Shaquille O'Neal: Sounds like something Don King dreamed up. Mellifluous, tailor-made for a superstar.
2. Stig Tofting: This former Dutch soccer midfielder was known for making hard hits, both on and off the field. His name accurately reflects his blunt style of play.
3. Champ and Boss Bailey: These NFL brothers have names that make each sound like All-Pros. That's only true for Champ thus far, though.
4. Longar Longar: This former University of Oklahoma basketball player is currently attempting to make the jump to the NBA. If nothing else, he definitely has length.
5. Nook Logan: The name conjures images of a blazing leadoff hitter. In actuality, Logan is a free agent looking for work.
What's the coolest athlete name of all time? Let us know below...
Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine and writes daily at SLAMonline.com
This list could get extremely long if we add wrestlers. My faves from my childhood in the 70's and 80's are:
Sweet Daddy Siki George the Animal Steele Koko Beware - I'll bet he and Coco Crisp are related ; ) Gorilla Monsoon The Mighty Igor - the guy could blow up a hot water bottle to the point where it would pop like a ballon!
I'm sure there's a ton of good names I've forgotten.
To the individual that posted June 2 10:49 PM the "Dutch" are from The Netherlands and the Danes or Danish are from Denmark. Two very separate countries and I suggest you take a geography lesson. I also agree that nicknames should not count and that the inclusion of IOC chairman Dick Pound is not cool. Odd yes but someting I would not like to be saddled with. Can you imagine what your driver license would look like or filling out any application form?
Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje Frostee Rucker Major Applewhite Fuzzy Zoeller Carmelo Anthony Some guy on GW's basketball team whose first name was SirValient Diamond Ferri (Syracuse and the CFL) Thimanga Biakibatuka and a personal favorite- Bimbo Coles
How about just an all-time all-name team for college hoops: Boo Harvey, Scoonie Penn, House Guest, Baskerville Holmes, Ruben Boumtje Boumtje, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, Dikembe Moutumbo, God Shamgod, Uwe Blab, Detlef Shrempf -the list is never ending!
T.J. Slaughter - great Linebacker name T.J. Houshmandzadeh - "who's your mama?' Lofa Tatupa - "close the door i'm taking a tatupa" Casius Clay Nnamdi Asomugha - say what? Picaboo Street Tiger Woods Major Applewhite - i would follow you anyday