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7/21/2008 09:34:00 AM

Five Cat Fights We'd Like to See

Bobby Bowden, Joe Paterno
We'd love to see Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno turn on each other.
Al Bello/Getty Images
By Lang Whitaker, SI.com

By now you've probably seen the dust-up yesterday between Danica Patrick and Milka Duno. It was odd, yes, but more than anything else it was amazing, definitely. I want more. Here are five other pairings I'd like to see escalate into wimpy towel hostility, mostly for humor's sake.

1. Bobby Bowden vs. Joe Paterno: Might be like watching the tortoise versus the tortoise. I'd definitely order it on PPV.

2. Roger Clemens vs. Brian McNamee: I'm pretty sure I know how this would play out, but it might be entertaining to watch anyway.

3. Bill Parcells vs. Jason Taylor: The Tuna seems to style himself as a tough guy but armed with just a towel against Jason Taylor, I wonder if Parcells would stand down?

4. Ana Ivanovic vs. Ashley Harkleroad: For obvious reasons.

5. Rafael Nadal vs. Roger Federer: Maybe these two could duel with their headbands instead of towels.

Which sports twosome would you like to see square off next? Let us know below...

Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine and writes daily at SLAMonline.com
posted by SI.com | View comments |

Comments:

Posted: July 21, 2008 3:30 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
1988 HULK HOGAN VS 1988 RIC FLAIR
STONE COLD VS THE ROCK
ROCK VS UNDERTAKER
ROCK AND STONECOLD VS HOGAN AND BRETT HART
STING VS ROCK
HHH AND HBK VS N.W.O (1996 VERSION.)

BIG SHOW VS ANDRE THE GIANT (1986)
UNDERTAKER VS BIG JOHN STUDD
ULTIMATE WARRIOR VS HULK AGAIN
ULTIMATE WARRIOR VS THE ROCK

VINCE IN UCONN
Posted: July 21, 2008 4:58 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Ron Artest v. Ben Wallace

Tom Brady v. Peyton Manning

Randy Moss v. Terrell Owens

Reggie Bush v. Vince Young

Maurice Jones-Drew v. Shawn Merriman

Stephen Jackson v. Pacman "Adam" Jones

last but not least

Rasheed Wallace v. Everyone
Posted: July 21, 2008 5:07 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Peyton Manning and Tom Brady:
Put an end to the silly debate by drunk football fans by settling it like men.
Posted: July 21, 2008 6:29 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
With the possible exception of Michael Jackson vs. Weird Al, cat fights are necessarily between women; not between dudes.
Posted: July 21, 2008 9:13 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
For those in the NY/NJ/Philly area: Mike Francesa vs. Howard Eskin

From the R.I.P. files: Chick Hearn vs. Johnny Most

Why McNamee vs. Clemens? How about Bonds vs. Clemens?

From the very current news department: Larry Mendte vs. Alycia Lane, with Rich Eisen as the special guest referee.
Posted: July 21, 2008 9:17 PM   by Anonymous Jena Wood
Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady

Ken Griffey Jr. vs. Barry Bonds

Dale Jr. (or anyone) vs. Kyle Busch
How about Dan Marion's last game. Getting benched in a 62-7 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars in the playoffs. Go Jags!
Posted: July 22, 2008 2:29 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
JoPa vs Chuck Norris
Posted: July 22, 2008 5:12 AM   by Anonymous Scott Carrier
Mel Kiper vs. Mike Mayock Deion Sanders vs. Tim McCarver Donovan Mcnabb vs. Terrell Owens Mike Tyson Vs. Kimbo Slice Mitch Albom vs. Mike Lupica
Posted: July 22, 2008 8:42 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Lauren Jackson vs Candace Parker
Posted: July 22, 2008 9:10 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Geez! You guys seem to be missing the point. You gotta have cats to have a cat fight.

My own top five in sports:

-Maria Sharapova vs.Alla Kudryavtseva, who dissed her Wimbledon outfit this year AFTER she'd beaten her in straight sets.

-A classic: Nancy Kerrigan vs. Tonya Harding, no foreign objects

-Serena Williams vs. Venus Williams: not very likely, but very intringuing, considering their different physiques

-Hope Solo (US soccer goalkeeper) vs. Briana Scurry (also goalkeeper): again, the former disssed the latter's performance after a 2007 World Cup loss. Google Solo for a glimpse.

-Michelle Wie vs. Natalie Gulbis: the Scuffle in the Rough
Posted: July 22, 2008 10:40 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Al Davis vs. Bob Kraft
Pee Wee Herman vs. The Raiders...poor Oakland!
Michael Vick vs. A Mean Ole Pack of Pitt Bulls
Posted: July 22, 2008 11:58 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Erin Andrews vs fsn's Lisa Dergen
Posted: July 22, 2008 12:16 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
How about ANY politician vs. ANY blue collar worker
Posted: August 19, 2008 10:08 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Tony Tarasco v. Jeffrey Maier
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