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8/28/2008 12:18:00 PM
Worst sports-related songs of all-time
Deion Sanders' "Prime Time" album is the comedy gift that keeps giving.
Gene Blevins /Getty Images
By Lang Whitaker, SI.com
This week in People magazine, Jessica Simpson reveals that she wrote a song for Tony Romo called You're My Sunday. Can't tell you how much I love the mental image of Simpson playing the song the first time for Romo, and Romo pretending he loves it as he attempts to hide a look of horror. Simpson is currently in midst of transforming her career, after years as a struggling pop singer, she is now a struggling country singer. So I'm guessing You're My Sunday must be in the country vein, which could make it even more excruciating/awesome.
Since the world has not yet been privy to You're My Sunday, let's run down the worst sports-related songs of all-time.
1. Prime Time Keeps Ticking: This was actually the second single off Deion Sanders' debut (and final) album, "Prime Time," and this single followed "Prime Time Keeps Ticking," which sampled the Steve Miller Band's "Fly Like An Eagle." Deion is one of my favorite athletes of all-time, but this song was a dud. I still keep the CD here on my desk, though. Seriously.
2. Talkin' Baseball: I guess at some point this song was considered edgy and fun, but by the time Terry Cashman customized his song for different MLB franchises, I was ready to stop talkin' baseball.
Back in the days when nobody took the New England Patriots seriously, the team managed to make it to the Super Bowl (for the first time). Unfortunately, their opponent was the '85 Chicago Bears, who months earlier had introduced white America to rap music with a video called "The Super Bowl Shuffle". That clip was funny enough to compensate for the general lack of musical and dancing talent, but then of course somebody decided that the Pats needed to respond, so someone in Boston Mayor Ray Flynn's administration came out with a feel good rap called "New England, The Patriots are We". Featuring Hizzoner himself, of course, and a cast of thousands.
Honestly. Couldn't agree more. Perhaps the fact that you (a) purchased Deion's album or (b) proudly still own it was where we should've stopped reading. I better wrap this up before my post has more words than your "article."
Representing the hockey side of the equation (why do so many people seem to forget about it?), the Calgary Flames made a video called Red Hot after their 1989 Stanley Cup victory. See for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjgZxAqCPAU
You can't have this list without it - no offense to the players that recorded it - but let's be honest - that was not Grammy material!
As Taken from SportsSongs.com
In the 1930’s Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig recorded the legendary “Home Run Twins”. In the 1950’s, Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays both recorded hit songs. In the 1960’s, Muhammad Ali, Denny McLain and others released vinyl recordings. In the 1970’s everyone from Terry Bradshaw to Joe Frazier wanted to be singing stars. The 1980’s were dominated by the “Super Bowl Shuffle” and the 1990’s by rap…..Shaquille O’Neal, Jason Kidd and Jimmy Piersall (yea, you read right) all recorded rap songs. And Sports Songs continue in the 21st Century, with Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson, and Roy Jones, Jr. all releasing songs.
How about all of them? How about never write a sports related song ever? They're all absolute travesties. Could you even come up with a list of the five best? It would probably look a lot like the five worst. Never write songs about sports, pets, other music, or dancing. They will inevitably be total train wrecks.
The Super Bowl Shuffle always gets a pass because it is the single greatest piece of trash talk ever. Not only did the Bears guaurantee a Super Bowl victory, but it was recorded the morning AFTER the Miami loss.
Stompin Tom Connors " Good Old Hockey Game". Watching this guy play guitar while pounding a hole through a piece of plywood with the heel of his cowboy boots gives credence to the world opinion that we here in the Great White North are somewhat lacking in culture and sophistication. Along with songs like " Bud the Spud" and "Sudbury Saturday Night" has made Stompin Tom a music icon on par with Leonard Cohen or David Foster ( just kidding ). Speaking of Sudbury, I was talking with someone from southern Ontario about that wonderful town and he commented that only hookers and hockey players came from Sudbury and I said my wife was from Sudbury. He then asked me what team she played for ( my apologies to Rodney Dangerfield).