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We rank 'em. You react. That's how the Daily List rolls.10/26/2007 11:24:00 AM Weird Sports Injuries
By Lang Whitaker, SI.com When the Miami Dolphins take on the New York Giants on Sunday in London, they will be without linebacker Zach Thomas. He was hurt last Sunday, not during the Dolphins desecration at the hands of New England, but after the game, when Thomas was rear-ended in postgame traffic by a man wearing a Pats jersey. This is the same Pats team that utilizes punter Chris Hanson, who was injured as a member of the Jaguars when coach Jack Del Rio's motivational routine involving an axe and a stump of wood resulted in Hanson requiring stitches. And during the World Series, try not to smile when you see Rockies first base coach Glenallen Hill, who once had a bad dream about spiders, so vivid that he woke up, crashed through a glass table and fell down a flight of stairs. Injuries happen frequently in sports, and they're usually no laughing matter, but occasionally, something happens to an athlete that's so bizarre it's funny. Here's my top five weird injuries to athletes. 1. Just a few years ago, while playing in Switzerland, midfielder Paulo Diogo scored a goal and celebrated by hurdling a fence into a crowd of fans. His wedding ring had other ideas, however, and it decided to celebrate with the fence. Diogo's ring finger was torn from his hand. Luckily, he plays soccer. 2. In the mid-'90s, Steve Sparks was a career minor league pitcher hoping for a shot at the big time. He visited a motivational speaker, and after returning home tried to replicate a stunt he'd learned, trying to rip a phone book in half. Unfortunately, the only thing he ripped was his shoulder from its socket. 3. Cavs forward Ira Newble did time in a hospital with a face infection. And his current teammate, Drew Gooden, once was hospitalized with what was originally thought to be a spider bite, but turned out to be an infected leg hair. 4. The wee kicking Gramatica brothers, Bill and Martin, were perhaps best known for their post-kick celebrations, in which they gesticulated wildly, even if they had just booted a 20-yarder to make it a three-touchdown game. This continued until Bill hit a FG to give his Arizona Cardinals a 3-0 lead in a game, and during his revelry, he tore his ACL. 5. A couple of Braves pitchers suffered strange injuries a decade ago: John Smoltz burned his chest while ironing a shirt...a shirt he was wearing at the time. And Tom Glavine allegedly broke a rib while throwing up an in-flight meal. What are your favorite weird sports injuries? Let us know below... Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine and writes daily at SLAMonline.com
Who can forget Bill Grammatica injuring himself after celebrating a field goal?Matt Campbell/Getty Images10/22/2007 12:16:00 PM Who should manage the Yankees?
By Lang Whitaker, SI.com
If Stephen Colbert's presidential bid doesn't go as planned, perhaps he could lead the sporting world's top team.Kevin Winter/Getty Images
If we have learned anything from the New York Yankees, it's that dysfunction can occasionally equal function. Nobody is quite sure who wields the ultimate power within the Yankees organization -- Hank Steinbrenner? Hal Steinbrenner? Brian Cashman? Randy Levine? George Steinbrenner? -- but we are all certain that it's not Joe Torre. So who should be the next Yankees manager?
1. Stephen Colbert: The TV humorist recently announced a presidential run, but myriad laws may keep him off the trail. Perhaps he'd be better suited as a leader of men in the Bronx, where he could use his fake people skills to deal with fake media controversies.
2. Tom Brady: So here's the plan: After the Pats win the Super Bowl in January, the Yankees braintrust should call Brady, who is already well-known for wearing Yankees hats. Show him the huge money and convince him to retire from football, so he can move to the Bronx, spend more time with Gisele and get all those high-paid Yanks to buy into that teamwork kool-aid everyone's drinking in Foxboro.
3. Tyler Perry: The actor/writer/director continues to surprise Hollywood by taking small-budget films and banking blockbuster after blockbuster. He's obviously accustomed to making a lot from a little, but what would happen if he were given an unlimited checkbook to accumulate talent?
4. LeBron James: The King may be from Ohio, but he's a lifelong Yankees fan. Bring him in, let him play for the Knicks and manage baseball's highest-profile team.
5. Mike Francesa: New York's talk-radio king loves the Yankees, and he's a preeminent communicator. Though his allegiance to Torre may keep him from accepting the job.
Who would you like to see the Yankees hire? Let us know below ...
Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine and writes daily at SLAMonline.comRecent PostsArchives
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