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Talk TV and more with SI.com's Adam Duerson.3/08/2007 01:55:00 PM Friday Night Lights Roundup, Volume I
It’s like this: Friday Night Lights. All. Episodes. Now. Streaming. Online (at NBC.com). Magical words to a former TV junky like myself, who only recently jumped back on the TV train and who had just discovered NBC’s unheralded little football gem. I’m trying to ramp up the quantity of regular programs on my DVR (existing: Lost, The Office [American version], Heroes, The Winner and Top Design; plus Family Guy, Seinfeld and The Office [British version], just for posterity) and I’ve decided to make FNL my latest addition. This was the week I was going to catch up.
The cast of Friday Night Lights can be taken in big doses -- as proven by SI.com blogger Adam Duerson.©NBC/Courtesy Everett Collection
Some background: I moved on from an entertainment magazine several years back and, out of exhaustion-bordering-on-depression, made a conscious decision to kick the tube for as long as possible with the exception of sports and movies. Which is to say that my television consumption has dropped exactly 0.0 percent, given that my apartment boasts every single Showtime/HBO/Cinemax/etc. channel. But I recently decided to plug myself back into the laugh-tracked world of original programming, punctuated by the recent acquisition of a long-overdue DVR. (Thank you, dear sirs at Time Warner Cable. It makes up for the three hours I spent on hold last month when my cable crashed -- again. Honestly, it does.)
So telecrap is to be my new crack cocaine, making NBC.com’s posting of every FNL episode something of a bittersweet opportunity. I can't begin to imagine what state I’d have been in if DVR and streaming television existed throughout my high school years. Ultimately, sleep and hockey practice would have been no match for 3 a.m. cram sessions of Wings and Silk Stalkings -- and that only covers USA Network. I have to trust that my will power has increased in the years since.
To kick off the StupidFest I churned through FNL like this: episodes 1, 2, 16, 13-15, 17, 1-12. (Don’t ask, but it was the only way I could do it, really.) That’s all 17 hour-long episodes (including the two-part pilot twice), as well as a slew of cast interviews on NBC.com, which in hindsight weren’t worth watching at all. I also ate up a seven-page cast interview in Stuff magazine, which I wouldn’t mention except to point out that my three-person apartment still gets Stuff, though I’ll be damned if I know which one of us paid for it seven years ago and forgot to cancel the subscription. If I ever call a family meeting at my apartment, Topic 1 will certainly be: "The lad magazines we’ve been getting since the Clinton era and the money we’re still paying for them."
Anyway, here’s what I came away with from my FNL marathon -- and in future weeks you can come back to the TV BLOG to read about what I thought of every episode. Welcome aboard.
• Look closely in Episode 1. At halftime it appears that Riggins was mauled by a grizzly bear -- four long bloody gouges across the neck. Truly bizarre. A throwaway comparable to the scene in Any Given Sunday where a player stops to pick up his eyeball (which had been dislodged by a hit, we can only assume) midway through the championship game.
• Coach Taylor: Could anyone really have seen Kyle Chandler’s Emmy-deserving turn coming? He delivered what was easily the worst performance in the 2005 version of King Kong, which was rife with Worst Actor nominees; but I can’t think of a better actor on TV since the original Office rode off into the sunset.
• That said, Chandler’s working from a small bag of actor-faces, including the dumbish "I call football plays, so why would I know how to punish our daughter who’s been hanging out at a strip club?" face; a raised-eyebrow-and-dropped-jaw "Duh!" face; and a classic death stare, which he executed phenomenally when a 15-year-old, having just served Coach the papers from Jason Streets' lawsuit, had the gonads to ask, "Do you think Ol' Buckley’s got a shot against Arnett-Meade?" (And really, who uses "Ol'" these days?)
• ...And I sometimes question Taylor's grit. He punished his kids (who were losing their focus) by running them through knee-deep water and up a muddy hill in the middle of the night. I want that coach. What’s next, potato sack races through Jello fields? This guy is coaching Double Dare, not football. (Side note: Double Dare as a varsity sport -- I like it.)
• Further, I wonder how long it is before Mrs. Coach Taylor gets her Carmela Soprano "Can I really get away with a well-deserved afffair in this town?" story arc? Really, Mrs. Taylor, I think you’re overlooked and deserve a sidedish. But how many suicide Jello sprints do you think Coach would give you if he caught you? Is it worth it? Think about it.
• What ever happened to that sassy little realtor with the Nancy Reagan haircut who wanted to "blitz" Riggins and then showed up hungover as hell for an apointment with Coach Taylor the next morning? Are we to assume that they did it? (Riggins and her, that is.) Let her not be the next Dr. Marvin Monroe, who disappeared, unexplained, for almost a decade of Simpsons. I liked what Reagan Hair brought to the table.
• Someone has to see the paralel between FNL the movie/FNL-on-NBC and The British/American versions of The Office. Both of the later took a preexisting model, rehashed the premise in its pilot, and then spun it into a totally different direction. Very impressive. And why, might I ask, couldn’t we pull this off with the American version of Coupling? Or the TV versions of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Weird Science for that matter?
• I want to love how news-relevant FNL can be -- i.e. recruiting a poor black QB who was uprooted from his school by Hurricane Katrina... How Outside the Lines-y! -- but it’s actually pretty lame. Should we come to expect this kind of topicality in every episode? Perhaps Riggins could enter the Anna Nicole baby derby?
• You want a good idea of what Matt Damon looked like in his awkward years? Look no further than Matt Saracen’s sidekick, Landry, who platoons the Boner Stabone/Kimmy Gibler role with pluck and candor alongside Jason Streets' less-likeable Murderball cronie.
• Look it up: There's really an episode called "Git er Done." Since when did we start naming TV episodes after Larry the Cable Guy bits? Has this always been a practice?
• Thank you, FNL writers, for only spending one episode on the inevitable Saracen/Landon "You’ve changed, man..." storyline. I’ll go back and watch Can’t Buy Me Love if I ever need to rehash that life lesson.
• Same goes for the inevitable friction between Riggins, the star fullback, and his older brother, whose career never amounted to anything. Let us never again hear the words "You have more talent than I ever did and I have to sit here every day and watch you throw it away and it makes me sick." Barf.
• Best line so far, in Episode 7: "Just because I have stumps, do I not bleed?" (From Streets' parapylegic teammate who can’t get Streets to pay attention to his sob story.) Really, this is right up there with "Welcome to the O.C., bitch!" in terms of defining a show.
• Oh, and let me get this straight. Smash used steroids, which are supposed to make people freak out and break stuff and all that, yet the writers coudn't squeeze in even one "Smash SMASH!" line? Perhaps at the pinnacle of one of his bloody nose outbreaks? I know The Hulk was box office kryptonite, but seriously? I’m disapointed.
• And did Smash REALLY lead a racially-driven walkout just TWO episodes after Coach Taylor finally forgave him for the 'roids thing? That has to be the result of my backwards viewing schedule, right? Cuz that ain’t cool.
• There was actually a scene in one episode where Coach Taylor and his wife hold a conversation under a dinner table!?!? How Life is Beautiful is that? And I say that in the most negative way possible.
• The Dillon kids could really use some instruction in the art of making up. I’m no pro, but two separate gents have tried to make up with girlfriends by gifting CDs (one was a mix CD, as repentance for canoodling with cheerleaders in a hot tub). And as an apology for sleeping with her hospital bed-bound boyfriend's best friend, Lyla Garrity delivered a basket of "I’m sorry" cupcakes. Sheesh.
• Speaking of that tryst, I really love when couples punch-and-slap their way into a makeout session, a la Tim and Lyla. But does that really ever happen? I can’t say I’ve ever been slapped by a girl, but in the event that I ever am, I'd really like to know the secret move that transitions bodyblows into facesucking. Anyone?
• More on Lyla-Tim: In the history of Recovering From Messy Affairs, I’d say Lyla Garrity is rewriting the books. Since she was outed for diddling Riggins, she hasn’t had a dialogue with a single student. That’s bad news. Grown men will sob in the streets if she gets written out of this show.
• And I'd love Lyla even more if she weren’t such a buzzkill. Tyra flirts with Jason: poutyface. Jason gets psyched about the rugby team: poutyface. Jason gets a rad new tattoo: poutyface...
• Here’s something I hate on television: the character who's brought on board for one episode for the sake of dying -- or in this case getting kicked off the team -- with no ultimate cost to the show. Lost did it with the fat science teacher who first appeared in the episode where he was eventually blown up by dynamite; and FNL did it with Reyes, who was supposed to be the defensive leader but who I don’t ever recall seeing before his big episode. I can only imagine that the episode was hyped up with commercials promising the departure of a star player -- kind of like the Heroes ads that promise "Someone Flies... Someone Dies..." I'm not fully up to speed on Heroes, but my guess is that in actuality "Someone who you don’t know or care about dies." Really frustrating, I think.
• Same episode: This is textbook '80s movie material, right? Semi-tough Bully (Reyes) gets pushed around by King Bully (VooDoo). To save face, Semi-tough Bully takes it out on Dweeb/Spazz, who’s had it up to here with bullies in general. Bloody mess ensues. ...But I can’t pin down the movie I’m thinking of. Airborne, perhaps? Kind of, I guess. Maybe it’s more Dazed and Confused?
• Ooooooh snap! Lyla cracked a gay Clay Aiken joke! On NBC! Take that Fox!
• I understand that Gatlin High is supposed to be a gritty inner city school, but their fans beat on garbage can lids and metal pots with drumsticks? It’s been a while since I've attended a high school football game, but I can't imagine that fandom has devoled into this anywhere, really. Couldn't they have just panned to Gatlin’s rump-shaking cheerleaders (contrasted with Dillon’s uptight preppy squad), like every other high school football movie does in this situation?
• And I’ve come to terms with the idea that FNL has turned Murderball (a quad rugby documentary from 2005) into a sideplot. But they really ripped off the movie in one episode when they cut to an instructional "quad porn" video, which Lyla and Streets watched together. Kinda cheapens it. The wheelchair sex, that is.
• Grandma Saracen IS Ellen Burstyn in Requiem For a Dream. Except that Burtsyn can act.
• A suggestion: let’s try to make the Dillon linemen just a pinch more dynamic, perhaps. By my count they appear just once thus far, at Streets' hospital bedside after he found out about Lyla and Riggins. They’re like a Nickelodeon version of Tony and Carmela Soprano: they promise "We're gonna take care of this man," pound their fists into their palms, and then go absolutely "Carmelo Anthony" on Riggins' pickup truck using wooden bats. Did Joe Pesci write this episode?
• Finally: In the entire season to date, I can recall just one game -- a midseason blowout -- during which Dillon was not trailing late in the fourth quarter. Just saying...
HOW I FEEL ABOUT BLADES OF GLORY (THIS WEEK)
Not good. The movie, which comes out March 30, has Will Arnett, which is grand. My Arrested Development-loving bretheren are psyched. But it’s got Napoleon Dynamite, too, which can’t be good. Look at the guy's track record. He’s not funny unless he’s spoon-feeding Chef Boyardee to llamas, essentially. And it's got Will Ferrell, which concerns me the most given that this could easily turn into Talladegha Nights II. On the upside, I’ve heard Ferrell won’t be doing the Blades press circuit in character, which got really old really fast when Talladegha Nights opened. I’ll read the in-character Q&As in Stuff magazine if I want bad jokes that didn’t make the movie.posted by SI.com | View comments |Comments:
Friday Night Lights is one of the best shows on TV. I know that's not saying much, but potential viewers reading this article might get the impression that FNL sucks, which it certainly does not. It's one of the only shows I actually look forward to every week. How about some *positive* comments next time?FNL Rocks! It can be pretty cheesy sometimes, but it's definitely entertaining.I have a pretty good article posted about FNL on my website GeNextSports.com. Its regarding the evolution of Matt Sarecen. Check it out . ..I was waiting for you to mention that every game has come down to the last play. Or that Street is paralyzed......then 8 weeks later comes back to homecoming.....which is only their 2nd game since his injury. This is a chick show, that hooked in guys with the promise of football and then kept them watching because of Lyla and Tyra.The word "ol" and old fashioned punishments are still used in Texas and Texas high school football respectively.
FNL is the best high school sports television show since The White Shadow. Your review is unfair. I understand that you need to keep readers entertained but anyone that has seen the show will see your article as a b-rated attempt at VH1 style humor.I'm actually happy to see someone that *isn't* a FNL-Kool-Aid-drinker. The show is silly - just the standard "pretty people with pretty problems" plotline. If it gets cancelled, the networks will still have a 90210/O.C./FNL show on next season.Best drama on TVIt does have soap opera and chick flick qualities. But it is watchable because of its sports foundation. I think Riggins and Smash are the best characters on that show. Everybody knows a "Tim Riggins." And the I think the actor playing Smash does a good job with all of the storylines they are throwing at him, i.e.: cocky star, unsure recruit, steroids, race relations, troubled (crazy) girlfriend.I think Adam Duerson was trying to be amusing or some variation of entertaining, but wasn't too effective with this article. FNL is a decent show, but how could Duerson not make fun of the pilot, when after a 40 yard pass, the Panthers follow up with a 80 yard run or something like that(do the math). The show made a bad first impression, but I hope it gets another shot next season. By the way Adam, you are the poor man's Bill Simmons.It's ELLEN Burstyn. Ellen ...it's a good show ...interesting story lines a liitle about football , and a little payton place a small town ,and eveybody zooming everybody , and the giel who plays the coaches wife is seet to look at...The Office needs to find a way to add Will Arnett to the cast…that would make it the funniest show of all time. It is already challenging Seinfeld for that distinction anyways…..I can't believe you get paid to watch TV for SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. I want your job.Jason is supposed to be a quad. I'm one and was very atheltic. There's no way he can do what he can do that fast in recovery. They make it look easy but in reality you'll need months of rehab.Concerning DWTS I'm not watching this season because I think there will be to many sympathy votes for that Heather Mills. And its already a popularity contest not reality the best dancer contest.Recent Posts
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