FIFA made the decision to hold steady with 32 teams for the World Cup field, but did anyone in the U.S. even know there were that many teams in the tourney? To help promote the world's most popular version of kickball, SI.com offers 10 ways to raise the awareness of soccer in our neck of the woods. Read 'em and then see what our readers suggested.
Less field, more goals
Cut the length of the field in half, so it doesn't take forever for a team to set up a goal and Americans can better follow the action. And adding two goals, so there's one on each side of the field, will increase scoring and prevent players from kicking the ball out of bounds every other trip up -- or down -- the field.
Minute Maids
Keep your eyes on the clock Chris Cole/Allsport
Hey, why limit these lovelies to the "sweet science"? To mark each minute, a buxom beauty walks around the out-of-bounds line holding up a card so fans know how much time has elapsed. Of course, with a smaller field of play, it will take said lovely one minute to make her round, so there'll be a babe on the field at all times.
Of course, they are "Minute Maids" because futbol goes hand in hand with advertising, and the juice maker is a natural for this promotion -- though we won't make any guarantees the girls are au natural.
And no word on how this would affect Minute Maid's current naming rights deal with the Houston Astros' ballpark.
Make tackling legal
Let's be honest. Soccer is a physical sport, so cut out the pretenses and make it legal for a player to cut the legs out from under an opponent from behind. This also will eliminate the Oscar-worthy acting jobs players put on in an effort to draw fouls on the other team.
Reduce the game to 60 Minutes
Ninety minutes is too damn long. The NFL has a good thing going with four 15-minute quarters; take a cue from football on this side of the pond. And the game's final three minutes are broadcast by Andy Rooney, to appeal to the crotchety-old-man sect.
More Posh, less Beckham
Mr. and Mrs. Posh Spice Dave Hogan/Getty Images
His 15 minutes of fame are up; it's time for Miss Victoria to have another 15 minutes in the spotlight. But no singing -- Spice World was plenty, thank you. Posh can serve as the federation chairperson, while Scary (who else?) doles out punishment to those who break the rules.
As for the other three Spice Girls -- Ginger, Baby and Sporty, in case you couldn't remember -- they can handle concessions; they were mere eye candy anyway.
Bend it barefoot
Shoes are not allowed. Remember what it's like to run barefoot in freshly mowed grass? Exactly -- the men can concentrate on the game at hand, not the shoe-deal-dictated cleats rubbin' their bunions.
Hooligans @ Halftime
So you're the bully of Section C? Put up your dukes against the Section G mauler in a loser-leave-the-stadium, best-2-out-of-3 slugfest. If we don't have a winner by the end of halftime, the fisticuffs continue at midfield and play resumes around the combatants.
Incorporate more streakers into each match
The Streak Alex Livesey/Allsport
The most frequent soccer highlight included in American broadcasts is the streaker. Remember how Morganna the Kissing Bandit would randomly burst onto the field of play in the 1970s and '80s? This is a lot like that, but with fewer clothes and no kissing. In fact, nothing sells like nudity!
If viewers are guaranteed to see a streaker in each match, but not told when he or she will appear, it'll add an unusual element of surprise.
Make each goal worth seven points
Which score sounds like the more interesting game -- 3-2 or 21-14? To make futbol appeal to this football-crazy nation, the score needs to be more reflective of its beloved sport.
Bring in Madden
Nothing would make Americans feel more at home watching a soccer game than the voice of John Madden. Pairing Mr. “Boom!” with the “Goooooaaaaaalllll!” guy is a match made in broadcast heaven. (But this doesn't mean Chris Berman and his hairpiece should come along for the ride.)
Keep your eyes on the clock
Mr. and Mrs. Posh Spice
The Streak
