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Curse of the G-Man
Posted: Saturday January 22, 2000 01:58 AM
The following aired during TNT's NBA coverage on Jan. 7. The poem was written by Turner Sports' Tom Heitz. Many have tried, but few have succeeded in giving the Nets a formidable presence in the middle. You pretty much have to go back to the days of Mike Gminski, who gave New Jersey eight solid years, and you'll find that it is poetic justice in a way that we enlist the help of the G-Man to chronicle New Jersey's paucity of production in the paint. Mike Gminski: For seven and a half years, I gave my heart and soul to the New Jersey Nets. I was proud to be a Net. We had a solid fan base. And what did I get for that? In January of '88 I was shipped off to Philadelphia. Since that time, 25 different men have started at center for the Nets. Twenty-two in the '90s alone. Is that a coincidence? I think not. I think it's the curse of the G-Man. We start with Sam Bowie. He had great court awareness. In fact, he was drafted ahead of His Airness. The Nets had a Shack. Yeah, that's right. That's for real. The problem was his last name wasn't O'Neal. Shawn Bradley, he towered seven feet, six inches. Just a little bit taller than 7-2 Dwayne Schintzius. G-Man: Dwayne Schintzius? And then there's Benoit, though some say Ben-wah. And Joe Barry's game was really quite blah. There's the Hammer [Armen Gilliam], David Vaughn, Tony Massenburg, can it be? G-Man: Forwards. Roy Hinson, Michael Cage and the slender Keith Lee? G-Man: Definitely a forward. P.J. [Brown] was solid, once he moved to the Heat. And when Comegys started, the Nets couldn't be beat. They were 1-0. The crewcut says that must be Jim McIlvaine. While Seikaly toiled on his well-coiffed mane. Mahorn was a stud, if it's toughness you like. He didn't score much, kind of like Jamie Feick. Jack Haley left Jersey for the Bulls and a ring. Hangin' with Rodman, the nights were bling-bling. Montross, yeah, Eric, didn't do much but slam. The same has been said of William Cunningham. There's another big guy in the middle, I thinka. Dare's the last name, and his friends call him Yinka. Don't forget Tim McCormick and Chris Gatling's magic. While Chris Dudley's free throws were nothing but tragic. New Jersey's best center is hurt, that's a crime. Now it's up to you, G-Man. Put an end to this rhyme. G-Man: Eleven years is enough. I'm retired; I'm happy; I'm relaxed. I'm taking the curse off. Jamie Feick will become an offensive superstar, and Jayson Williams will heal. The Curse of the G-Man is off.
The Middle of NowhereHere is the list of the men who have played center for the New Jersey Nets since Mike Gminski left New Jersey on Jan. 17, 1988.
Player, Games at Center
Tom Heitz has been involved with Turner Sports production for four
years, and currently provides behind-the-scenes analysis for the NBA
on TNT.
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