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THE MAN WHO WOULDN'T
Jules Feiffer
December 22, 1958
Harold Swergcould hit a baseball farther than any man alive
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December 22, 1958

The Man Who Wouldn't

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Harold Swerg
could hit a baseball farther than any man alive

Could
kick a football farther than any man alive

Could
run the mile faster than any man alive.

Harold Swerg could do anything.
Only he wouldn't.

Baseball and football magnates came to Harold Swerg. They said:
SIGN WITH US! YOU'LL HAVE MONEY, STATUS, GLORY, GIRLS!

Track and field magnates came to Harold Swerg. They said:
SIGN WITH US! YOU'LL HAVE FREE TRANSPORTATION, LOTS OF BANQUETS, A TEAM JACKET WITH YOUR NAME ON IT, GIRLS!

And to all of them Harold Swerg replied.
GO AWAY!

He just wanted to go on making his living as a filing clerk.

I DON'T LIKE THE SPORT BUSINESS.
I LIKE THE FILING CLERK BUSINESS.

THE SPORT BUSINESS DOESN'T PRESENT A CHALLENGE, THE FILLING CLERK BUSINESS PRESENTS A CHALLENGE.

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