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KILLER TABS STRIKE AGAIN!
Curry Kirkpatrick
July 06, 1992
At Wimbledon, Beasties and Rotters, i.e., esteemed Fleet Street journalists, never let facts bonker a good story
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July 06, 1992

Killer Tabs Strike Again!

At Wimbledon, Beasties and Rotters, i.e., esteemed Fleet Street journalists, never let facts bonker a good story

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"High noon in Dodge City," remembers Jamieson, who helped man the battlements, "and one of the great moments in journalism, wouldn't you say?"

Ever since then, the beleaguered officials at the All England Club have begun most press conferences with, "Tennis questions only." Not that the Beasties or Rotters take much notice, of course. Last Friday, because no Royals or sex fiends or any combination thereof had turned up, the tabloids were reduced to asking Seles, "About your addiction to butter...is your bottom too big?" and to hearing Seles answer, "You should vote on it.... Honestly, these subjects [come from] people who have nothing to do all day."

Hold it just a minute, sister. You can win all the Grand Slam tournaments you want, but if it weren't for my comrades in the vigilant press, the world would little note what Richard Krajicek had to say. Who? Yeah, Richard Krajicek, the 20-year-old Dutchman with the 129-mph serve, who, after losing in the third round, vented his feelings about the women players, who he said didn't deserve equal prize money because "80 percent of the women players are fat pigs, and should not be allowed on the show courts." The headlines fairly sang the next day: WHAT A PORKER, MALE CHAUVINIST PIG and HE'S A REAL OINK, SAYS MARTINA.

Another tabloid savior, at last! A player from a Rotter(dam) of a city had turned men and women against each other and the tournament inside out. The Beasties were in heaven as Wimbledon once again went spinning toward tabloid hell.

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