ROCKY: Brian Hunter, the first baseman with the Braves. They're loaded with good, young players. In fact, when their manager, Bobby Cox, was asked about the draft, he said, "We're screwed." They will lose some valuable players.
MARLON: Yeah, but Brian Hunter's no Danny Tartabull.
ROCKY: Well, at least he's played a couple of years in the big leagues. We didn't want to take some kid who would fold under the pressure of being the Rockies' first-ever pick.
MARLON: Fold? Hunter'll fold like a Denver omelet. In fact, that should have been the name of your team: the Denver Omelets. Let me get this straight. You guys expect to be a regional franchise, drawing fans from 300 miles away, and you're going to lure them to the ballpark with a top pick who is a platoon player?
ROCKY: We're not worried about the fans. With the possible exception of your Marlins, expansion teams always draw well the first year. The Blue Jays were lousy in '77, their first year, and they still drew 1.7 million to one of the worst stadiums of all time. The Rockies have already sold more than 24,000 season tickets, including four to a Nebraska farmer who lives five hours away. We have ticket requests from 35 states. We'll have no problem filling all 76,000 seats at Mile High Stadium on many nights next year. Then in 1995 we get a new downtown stadium that's going to look like Camden Yards in Baltimore, only you can see the Rocky Mountains from your seat.
MARLON: Trouble is, you can also see the Rockies from your seat.
ROCKY: Yeah, well, the new stadium alone will take care of attendance. By the time we move into there, our young draft picks will be ready. You guys are playing in a football stadium. No wonder you're going to sell only, what, about 16,000 season tickets? Floridians aren't going to bake in 100° heat to watch baseball. Plus, it rains every day in the summer down there. Weather statistics show that your team would have had five rainouts in the first half of this season alone. You shouldn't have taken Tartabull first. You should have taken George Toma, the Royals' legendary groundskeeper.
MARLON: Listen, Willard: Our air may be hot and wet, but at least you can breathe it. Your air is so thin, you should replace the CR on your caps with CPR.
ROCKY: We'll stick with CR, thank you. What will yours say—VCR?
MARLON: Forget the caps. It's my pick, and I'm taking Bobby Thigpen of the White Sox, the guy who saved 57 games in 1990. He's 29, he lives in St. Pete and he can pitch.