U is for UNITY. On Oct. 26 Canadians will be voting in a referendum on national unity. The measure is complex (suffice it to say you vote either Yes or No), but it's sort of like your upcoming election: Each alternative is as distasteful as the other.
Some of the tall foreheads in political office hope that the presence of the Blue Jays in the World Series will make all Canadians feel so warm and fuzzy that we will vote Yes. Others feel that this is wishful thinking and that the Yes Team must be pretty desperate to be looking to the ball diamond for salvation. Still others believe that since the referendum is nonbinding, it's nothing more than an extremely expensive opinion poll and we might as well forget it and enjoy the ball game. You can see why the World Series is a welcome distraction.
V is for Otto VELEZ, an original Blue Jay and part of the small tradition we have scraped together in 16 years in the big leagues. Longtime fans took a moment to remember him and all the others who had the misfortune to be Blue Jays at the wrong time.
W is for the WAR OF 1812. We won. You lost. Nyaah-nyaah.
X is for X-RATED interludes. There haven't been any since May 15, 1990, when an amorous couple in one of the stadium-view hotel rooms at SkyDome found an original way to pass the time during a boring game against the Mariners. After the lovebirds were spotted in their window by a killjoy columnist who blew the whistle on them, all guests checking into those rooms have to sign an indemnity agreement not to make whoopee with the curtains open.
Y is for YANKEES, the hatred of whom is the one thing fans in Atlanta and Toronto have in common.
Z is for Z. We pronounce it Zed. You wanna make something of it?