Out Of Bounds

"Dad, please. Leave me alone!"

Robin slouched off, head down, running shoes scraping the gravel. Desiree got set for her heat. Another runner asked, "How can you live with that guy?"

Desiree sighed, "I do my best."

The starter pistol went off. Desiree rounded the first turn in the lead. The crowd was hushed. At the start of the straightaway, she dropped to second. The silence was ominous. As she neared the final turn, a familiar voice rang out: "Come on Desiree, let's go! Dez! Dezz! Dezzz!"

THE COUCH POTATO

On Jan. 15, 1992, The Maury Povich Show tackled a topic more explosive than "Battered Menopausal Valet Parking Attendants" and far more provocative than "Chirpy, Criminally Dim Chat-Show Hosts." Maury dared to examine a once-unmentionable phenomenon: "Sports Fanatic Wives." The segment centered on Marianne Krebs of Columbus, Ohio.

A short, peppy Cleveland Brown diehard, Marianne, who's 29, was identified to viewers by the caption ONLY WANTS TO MAKE LOVE DURING HALFTIME. That description was disputed by her husband, Jeff, otherwise known as EMBARRASSED BY HIS SPORTS FANATIC WIFE.

Maury: What happens at halftime? Do you give him a break and go in the bedroom?

Marianne: Well, it depends if they're winning or losing.

Maury: You're kidding!