Playing A New Tune

So who stole John Daly?

Exhibit A: For the third straight day now, a man purporting to be John Daly has turned on the shower in this 50-foot bus he calls home, hoping to find hot water. On the first two days, his two-man crew—Donnie, the guy who takes care of the bus, and Wedgie, his caddie—worked on the hot water. Today, finally, they figured they had it fixed. That's good, because after three days Daly really wanted to wash his hair. But for the third straight day, the water comes out freezing.

The only question now is, Which will Daly select to smash the shower door with, a one-iron or a driver? After all, this ain't Gentle Ben Crenshaw here. This is the scourge of the links—long drives, short temper—the guy who has destroyed more hotel rooms than water seepage. Donnie holds his breath. Wedgie stands perfectly still, hoping maybe Daly will mistake him for a floor lamp.

But Daly is not blowing up. Daly is not even turning purple. Daly is just smiling.

"No problem," he says, cheerfully. "I can wear a hat."

Exhibit B: Take a look at those hands. Those are not John Daly's hands. Those hands have something Daly's hands haven't had in years: calluses. You telling us John Daly actually found out where the practice tee is?

Exhibit C: Take a look at that waistline. John Daly's waistline used to be 25 pounds and 44,000 peanut M&M's wider. John Daly actually found the salad bar?

Exhibit D: Take a look at that face. Smiling. John Daly has actually found happiness?

We'll know beginning this Thursday, when Daly and his nuclear driver and his heel-scratching backswing return from a four-month PGA Tour suspension to play at the Honda Classic in For! Lauderdale. If he hits it to Naples, it's Daly.

"I can't wait," Daly says. 'I've been so bored. I almost felt like going down to Doral [site of last week's tournament], standing around on the first tee and going, 'Hey, you need a fourth?' "