3. "There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course somewhere and eventually will be found and pocketed by someone else. It thus becomes a stolen ball, and the player should not compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty stroke."
4. "If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf."
5. "Same thing for a ball that stops on the brink of the hole and hangs there defying gravity. You cannot defy the law."
6. "Same thing goes for a ball that rims the cup. A ball should not go sideways. This violates the laws of physics."
7. "A putt that stops close enough to inspire such comments as 'You could blow it in' may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants to make a travesty of the game."
Another sports-meets-rock news flash (SCORECARD, May 9): A San Francisco punk band, the White Trash Debutantes, has offered a spot in its lineup—which already includes a 78-year-old grandmother and three male transvestites—to Tonya Harding. The group says that it has already written a song for the skater entitled Don't Mess with Tonya Harding.
Eat your heart out, Nancy.
For 12 years a Garden Grove, Calif., company called Evans Sporting Goods, which isn't one of Major League Baseball's 400-odd official licensees, has been manufacturing uniforms bearing the names and logos of big league teams and selling them to Little League and Pony League squads. Citing trademark laws, Major League Baseball asked Evans to stop. But the company refused, and now the two sides are suing each other.