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Rick's Rules
Rick Reilly
June 13, 1994
The author calls timeout on some things in sports that are just plain dumb
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June 13, 1994

Rick's Rules

The author calls timeout on some things in sports that are just plain dumb

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9) Golf. All of it. We've never played with a guy yet who understood a single golf rule. See, you can drop anywhere in here, keeping the line of entry back from your caddie, until you find a burrowing animal. Personally, we stamp down spike marks, never count any shot that would have been just fine if it weren't for that stupid tree and are pretty sure we made an 8 but just give us a 5.

10) Global warming. Why is it that just about every other sport but basketball allows its guys coming off the bench a chance to warm up? Relief pitchers throw in the bullpen. Substitute quarterbacks throw on the sideline. But hoop subs are supposed to leap off the bench after sitting for an hour and start playing full speed without so much as a stretch. Bet us: The first team to install a sideline warmup basket four-peats.

Have this stuff fixed pronto or you know that testimonial bash you've been planning for your boss? We send Marge Schott to be the after-dinner speaker.

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