What's Up?

Poor Donnie Edwards. There he was late last Saturday afternoon, standing on the rug at the north end of Nebraska's Memorial Stadium, just flat befuddled. Losing he could handle. Number 13 UCLA was on the road at second-ranked Nebraska, and, hey, it happens. But 49-21, and really not even that close? "I can't believe we lost by this many points," said Edwards, a Bruin linebacker. Donnie, buddy: Read the papers. Watch SportsCenter. Inside all those colorful graphics there's some serious arithmetic going down in the Top 25.

Just about the time that Edwards was first pancaked by one of Nebraska's frightfully nimble 300-pound offensive linemen, No. 6 Penn State was hanging 45 points on Iowa in less than 30 minutes en route to a 61-21 starching in Happy Valley. And even as Edwards turned to leave the field, top-ranked Florida was in Knoxville, laying waste to all manner of myth about its incompetence on the road. "Twenty-four nothing, Florida, first half," squawked a radio in Lincoln, eliciting a soft groan from poll-conscious Nebraska fans, resigned to their Cornhuskers' remaining No. 2 for another week. And as Saturday night slipped away in Boulder, reserve quarterback Koy Detmer threw a short touchdown pass to tight end Christian Fauria, finishing seventh-ranked Colorado's 55-17 humiliation of No. 10 Wisconsin.

To review: That's last season's Rose Bowl participants, UCLA and Wisconsin, going into Saturday's games unbeaten only to be humbled by a combined score of 104-38. That's Iowa, a proud program that squeaked into a minor bowl last year and opened this season 2-0 against patsies, tying Roger Maris on defense. That's Tennessee, another Top 25 squad, swallowing a bagel at home.

So don't feel so bad, Donnie. Time was when a nice double-digit ranking was worth something, when No. 16 could play No. 5 and the game would be decided by fewer than six touchdowns. With scholarship reductions, theory had it that the age of parity was upon us. You know the drill: "On any given day...." Well, theory had it wrong. There is no Top 25, there is a Top 8, six of whom are members of the Blowout Bunch. On any given day, you can get your tail whipped by 10 touchdowns, which is just what happened to Kentucky on Sept. 10, when the Wildcats followed an emotional win over Louisville with a 73-7 loss to Florida.

It is possible early this season to take a rebuilding project on the road, the way John Robinson took USC to Penn State, and fall behind by five touchdowns before losing 38-14. And it is possible for a resurrected program to visit old burial grounds, the way No. 5 Miami did at Sun Devil Stadium, and to so thoroughly stomp on a respectable opponent—47-10 over Arizona State—that Hurricane wideout Jonathan Harris said, "I ain't going to say we're back, because we ain't never left."

How long does a blowout take? Check out the Penn State-Iowa game. Sometimes it takes only the first quarter.

Less than three minutes gone. Senior quarterback Kerry Collins hits senior tailback Mike Archie with a 20-yard pass. Brett Conway kicks the point after, and it's 7-0, Nittany Lions.

Five minutes later, Archie breaks through the line of scrimmage, fakes out Hawkeye corner-back Damien Robinson and springs 35 yards to the end zone. Lions, 14-0.

It takes all of another 1½ minutes for Penn State to block an Iowa punt and for Lion senior outside linebacker Phil Yeboah-Kodie to get his hands on the ball in the end zone. Conway's kick is good, and it's 21-0.

With 5:31 to go in the quarter, after a Yeboah-Kodie fumble recovery. Penn State senior tailback KiJana Carter sprints 41 yards untouched for a touchdown. Make it 28-0.