Tippecanoe and Big Dog, Too
Topic the first: Sports! Worming their way into politics! When voters go to the polls on Tuesday, they won't be able to tell the players or the issues without SCORECARD'S scorecard:
? Wisconsin, U.S. Senate. Running against Milwaukee Buck owner and incumbent Herb Kohl (D.), and using the slogan The Buck stops here, Bob Welch (R.) hoped to make an issue of Kohl's wealth by focusing on the Bucks' big-dollar dealings with No. 1 pick Glenn (Big Dog) Robinson. But Kohl has come off as a fiscal conservative by refusing to bow to Robinson's demand for a $100 million deal. Latest poll as of Monday: Kohl up by 30 points.
? California, governor. The Los Angeles Rams have contributed $20,000 to incumbent Pete Wilson (R.) in his race against challenger Kathleen Brown (D.). Analysts say the Rams, who have threatened to leave Southern California if a new stadium isn't built for them by August 1995, may be counting on state financing for a place to play and hoping that Wilson, the presumptive winner, would sign such a bill. Latest poll: Wilson up by 10 points.
? Utah, U.S. Senate. Ray Majerus, the late father of Utah basketball coach Rick Majerus, was a labor leader, a chum of Hubert Humphrey and Walter Mondale, and so solid a Democrat that Rick says, "Dad wanted to be buried in Chicago so he could remain politically active." Yet even though he disagrees with incumbent Orrin Hatch (R.) on abortion and gun control, Rick supports Hatch, an occasional dinner companion, in his race against Pat Shea (D.). "He's a good man," says Majerus. "Besides, lobbyists pay millions for the access I get. He's even conceded a few points to me." Latest poll: Hatch up by 35 points.
? Nevada, governor. When the administration at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas dawdled last week in hiring Tim Grgurich, an intimate of hugely popular former UNLV coach Jerry Tarkanian, as its new basketball coach, the school's interim president, Kenny Guinn, got a call at home from Gov. Bob Miller (D.). Miller's prodding helped bring about Grgurich's hiring, which won't hurt the governor in his race against Jim Gibbons (R.). Latest poll: Miller up by nine points.
? Texas, governor. Retired Texas Ranger star Nolan Ryan has been stumping for challenger George W. Bush (R.), the Rangers' managing general partner. Meanwhile incumbent Ann Richards (D.) charges in ads airing on black radio stations that Bush didn't do enough to involve minority businesses in building The Ballpark in Arlington and operating concessions there. Bush responds by mentioning Comer Cottrell, a black hair-care products executive who owns 2% of the Rangers. Latest poll: a virtual dead heat.
Lost at Sea
Picture the scene: Lou and Beth Holtz, a couple of Golden Domers passing their golden years in the sloop Ron P., suddenly find themselves in extremis 20 miles out to sea. The captain of the Navy ship responding to their Mayday call realizes that the distressed sailor is the erstwhile Notre Dame coach, the same Lou Holtz who on a Saturday afternoon in 1994, with his Irish snorkeling below the top 25 for the first time in eight years, ran a fake punt on fourth down with 1:45 to play and a 51-21 lead over the Midshipmen. And 61 seconds later called for a fourth-down TD pass. The captain can bring himself to say only one thing: "Row."
Selling Wolf Tickets
The Seattle SuperSonic marketing department, apparently taking its cue from the trash-talking denizens of that team's locker room, is offering four customized ticket packages. Each features at least one game against a marquee rival of the Sonics, the NBA's most impudent team. Fans can take their pick from the Scottie Who? plan; the Get Your Tickets Before Every Jerk in Portland Does plan; the If I See Another Thing with Shaq on It, I'm Gonna Barf plan; and the ever-popular Barkley Sucks plan.
Case Not Closed