Never bet a horse that defecates during the post parade.
Never blow your nose before a fight. (It makes the eyes swell easier later on.)
Stand as far away as possible from a skeet shooter with a perfect score going.
Hockey goons fight goons—and no fighting Gretzky.
Never walk on a player's putting line, including the two feet on the other side of the cup.
Always clear the inside lane for faster runners.
Never stand behind the pool table pocket your opponent is shooting for.
Never let the interviewee hold the mike.
A catcher may complain to the ump all he wants about balls and strikes, as long as he doesn't turn around and do it face-to-face.
Never hit the quarterback during practice.