The Talk Of The Tour

YOU GET THE PICTURE?

If you do, you must be spending entirely too much time hanging around PGA Tour player Brad Faxon and his caddie, John (Cubby) Burke.

They have their own language when it comes to figuring out what club to hit on a particular shot. First, almost any yardage has a famous jersey number attached to it. For instance, 132 yards would be one-O.J., for the No. 32 O.J. Simpson wore as a Buffalo Bill. One-LT is 156 for New York Giant linebacker Lawrence Taylor. One-Mario is 166, for the 66 of Pittsburgh Penguin center iceman Mario Lemieux, a Cubby favorite. Seven yards further to the pin is plus Elway (for Denver Bronco quarterback John).

Seventy-seven is Red Grange, 44 is Reggie (for slugger Reggie Jackson), 19 is Johnny U (quarterback Johnny Unitas) and so on.

Anything shot into the wind is Bob Seger, for his hit song Against the Wind. Anything with the wind is Bette Midler, for her song Wind Beneath My Wings. Reagan to Clinton is, of course, a right-to-left wind.

So when Cubby tells Faxon, "One-Wayne to the front, plus Roger, Bob Seger, a little Clinton to Reagan," you know it's 199 yards to the front (for Wayne Gretzky's number), plus 12 yards to the pin (for Roger Staubach's), into a left-to-right wind.

"We're not well people," says Faxon.