Sure, there are people who say that Gordon just took away a chance at the kind of glory few people ever experience, the chance at a glory that would have surged through that team, that school, that city when victory finally came. Some people say that if he had any vision and courage at all, he would have billed his school as America's Underdog, found five decent-enough players with the talent to win one game and made the country love him. But these people aren't provosts. These people aren't even amateurvosts. What do they know?
L.A. Clippers, Jack Lemmon, Wile E. Coyote, give it up! Dale Earnhardt, you've tried 18 times to win the Daytona 500. Take off the third week in February from now on! Bobby Wadkins, you've been on the PGA Tour for 21 years and never won. Pull a Gordon, find yourself a nice range job somewhere and relax!
Folks, listen up: Just Do It is out. Just Forget It is in.
And thank you, provost Gordon, for your inspiration. Here's hoping that someday you'll be trying to persuade your grandchild to give long division one more shot, when the kid breaks his pencil, puts on the headphones and says, "Pops, there are times in life situations when you should give up."