In A Pig's Eye

a. you watched too much football
b. you watched way too much football
c. My husband left me?

2) When your boyfriend mentions "leather and lace," you head for...

a. Victoria's Secret
b. Frederick's of Hollywood
c. Wilson

3) As a modern woman, you realize making love must include...

a. physical attraction
b. a condom
c. Chris Berman

4) Faced with a drunken fan screaming obscenities and spitting tobacco juice through stained teeth, you...

a. call security
b. change seats
c. ask Mom to chill

5) A double reverse flea-flicker is...

a. available in wool or cotton fleece
b. a trick pass play intended to fool the defense
c. life itself

6) You refer to an excessively violent tackle as...