Cool Quiz

Quotables
Match the quote with the person who said it.

1. "McDonald's."

A. Alanis Morissette, in Right Through You, a cut on the Grammy-winning CD Jagged Little Pill.

2. "Did you know that Kennedy and Lincoln had the same handicap?"

B. Tennis player Todd Martin, to reporters after the U.S. had swept Mexico in the Davis Cup.

3. "It's longer and straighter"

C. Brad Faxon, paired with Tiger Woods in the first round of the Tour Championship, on their large gallery.

4. "I've never had that many people follow me around on a Thursday. They must've heard about my reputation."

D. Scott Hoch, on St. Andrews.

5. "I refuse to play equipment that's inferior to what I've been using for years. If I was a big enough whore, I'd go ahead and do it. But I choose not to."

E. Patrick Burke, after spectators at the Doral-Ryder Open asked how his father, a popular club pro in New Jersey who had died four months earlier, was doing.

6. "Not too good."

F. Homer Simpson.

7. "You took me for a joke. You took me for a child. You took a long hard look at my ass and then played golf for a while."

G. Nick Faldo, describing how he triple-bogeyed the 8th hole at the PGA.

8. "That shot was a half-shank from the pike position."

H. Japan's Hidemichi Tanaka, when asked if he knew any English words.

9. "We're not going to fight, are we?"

I. Dr. Jack Kevorkian, on his intention to meet Jack Nicklaus at the U.S. Open.

10. "If you guys would stop asking questions, I could get out on the golf course."

J. Bill Murray, discussing Hurricane Bertha with David Letterman.

11. "I'm going to walk up to him and tell him, 'If you don't win, I'm here.' "

K. Mike Hill, on why he uses irons made in the '70s and a 40-year-old putter.

12. "You've just got to not concentrate."

L. Will Smith's character on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, when asked how he keeps missing one-foot putts.

13. "It's the worst piece of mess I've ever seen. I think they had some sheep and goats there that died, and they just covered them over."

M. Jack Nicklaus, when he met Muhammad Ali at the PGA.

Answers: 1-H. 2-F. 3-J. 4-C. 5-K. 6-E. 7-A. 8-G. 9-M. 10-B. 11-I. 12-L. 13-D.
Cool Quotient/Number of correct answers: 10-13 Longer than Tiger Woods. 5-9 Longer than Earl Woods. 0-4 Shorter than Rosemary Woods.