Identify the players described below.
1. I was seven over par with nine holes to play in the second round of the U.S. Open when my dad and four friends, who had driven from North Carolina, packed up and left. I birdied 11, eagled 12, then birdied 13,14 and 15 to not only make the cut but also shoot the second 29 in Open history. (Hint: I was also the first to do it, last year.)
2. I tried a swing change (that was a load of rubbish), a sports psychologist (that was a load of crap) and working out (that was not for me) before finding a swing coach who told me not to think too much and a back specialist who advised me not to exercise. I went on to win three times on the European tour.
3. Even though I'm 67, I was fixing a leaky roof when I stepped off a rafter and crashed waist-deep through the ceiling of my powder room, dislocating my shoulder. My wife called 911, and they came with all the bells and whistles. "You'd have thought I killed Kennedy," I grumbled.
4. I got my exemption by closing with a 64 to win the Fieldcrest Cannon Classic in Charlotte, one year after showing up at the tournament only to discover I had forgotten to enter. Poetic justice, I called it, because last year's mistake meant that I had been unable to play in the minimum number of events required to keep my card for '96.
5. At some point I was on the leader board in each of the four major championships. I won in Hawaii, but you probably didn't notice.
6. At the Australian skins game, I drove it past Tom Watson and Peter Senior all day. I also won two majors in 1996.
7. I explored the possibility of using a pony, a llama or a cart to help get me around the course but haven't played in a tournament in more than a year.
8. I withdrew from the PGA Championship because I wasn't sure I could resist the urge to punch someone. And I said that if I bumped into Craig Parry, "I'd probably put him in a locker and throw away the key." I had dinner with the President in 1994, but not this year.
9. I shot 64 in the first round of the Canon Greater Hartford Open but disqualified myself because the ball I used hadn't been registered with the USGA.