After three days of training, overweight millionaire boxer Riddick Bowe left U.S. Marine Corps boot camp at Parris Island, S.C., ending his dream of becoming a Marine (SCORECARD, Feb. 10). Camp spokesman Major Rick Long said Bowe "was discharged because he had difficulty adapting to the recruit training regimen." SI's Rick Reilly "obtained" this dismissal report from Bowe's drill instructor, Sgt. Lawrence (Larry the Larynx) Gruff, detailing violations on Bowe's final day.
?0500 Hours, Reveille. Recruit Bowe fails to rise at prescribed time, fails to square his rack and fails to dress within the allotted one minute. Asked to explain, Recruit Bowe pulls blankets over head and responds, "Chill, will ya? I was up late watching Conan."
?0900 Hours, Interior Guard Drilling. Recruit Bowe is in violation of No Personal Effects Order. Recruit Bowe is wearing headphones and beeper and is speaking on cellular telephone. Told this is unacceptable, Recruit Bowe responds that he is checking on his Disney stock and suggests drill instructor do something anatomically impossible with whistle.
?1515 Hours, Close-Order Drills. Recruit Bowe arrives with several civilians. When asked just who these civilians are, Recruit Bowe responds, "My masseurs, my driver, my agent and T-Bone. I don't go nowhere without T-Bone." When drill instructor demands Recruit Bowe drop and give him 50, Recruit Bowe turns to Civilian T-Bone, says, "Yo, T-Bone, drop and give him 50."
?1730 Hours, Calisthenics. Recruit Bowe leaves formation and addresses drill instructor improperly. Recruit's comments are as follows: "Look, Dudley Do-right, you and me gotta talk. I ain't takin' this [expletive deleted] for no $900 a month. I go through more than that in pedicures."
?2000 Hours, Barracks. Recruit Bowe is in violation of rules of dress. Recruit Bowe has personal tailor alter his uniform to, quote, "lose some of the Gomer Pyle in this thing."
?2100 Hours, Lights Out. Drill instructor, having exhausted all avenues of discipline, informs Recruit Bowe that instructor is resigning and is being replaced by somebody Recruit Bowe can actually fear. Recruit Bowe responds, "Yeah, who?" Instructor responds, "May I present Sergeant Golota?" Recruit Bowe departs base without completing proper exit paperwork.