Reading Statman's Work Is a Real Labor
With deadlines looming, reporters covering last week's NCAA West Regional at the McKale Center in Tucson faced the unique literary style of Sean Fitzpatrick, an Arizona alumnus who was responsible for the play-by-play notes on the score sheet. Fitzpatrick likes to put his own entertaining—and perplexing—spin on basketball terminology. We hereby present a few examples of his punishing work from two first-round games—Navy against Utah and Georgetown against UNC-Charlotte. Can you guess what happened without the translations?
1) Van Horn gets knocked off the bookshelf on the layin and change.
2) Palumbo (push) has one more question on Van Horn.
3) Doleac drives to the store for some milk and gets his change.
4) Doleac gets the weak stuff out of the kitchen for a blocked shot.
5) Miller empties the bathtub from 3P land left base.
6) Van Horn is paneful from 6 ft. on the turnaround right side.
7) Booker loses his place in the chapter for the turnover.
8) Shaw with a water fountain J from 3 ft. in the lane.