Shaq's World

BEVERLY AND ROBERTSON, WEST HOLLYWOOD

We are stopped, yet the can of Mountain Dew in the cup holder is doing the watusi. The windows are closed, yet my hair is doing a scene from Twister. The truck roof is bouncing up and down like popcorn in a pan.

Poltergeist? No, just Shaquille O'Neal turning up the 3,700-watt stereo system in his blue Ford Expedition until the sound is akin to what you would hear if you lived in a small compartment inside the engine of a DC-10. It is very loud in here. Oh my god, is it loud.

In the backseat, the man called Dirt seems to be laughing. Outside, people in chichi restaurants are looking up in horror from their sun-dried radicchio. Shaq is grinning his crazy lopsided cross-eyed grin.

"DO YOU ALWAYS PLAY IT THIS LOUD?" I inquire.

"WHAAAT?" he replies.

"DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS LOUD?"

"NO, BRO, I HAVEN'T LOST ANY POUNDS."

Sigh. This is going to be a very tough interview.

THE FORUM, INGLEWOOD