A typical day for her and Humphrey includes a midday snuggle break while watching The Young and the Restless, a home-cooked dinner and a video rental, topped off by an antagonistic game of hearts. "Yeah, they're kind of like an old married couple," says Heather Bowie, one of Kuehne's two roommates at their charmingly collegiate two-bedroom apartment near campus, which is also home to her seven-month-old chocolate Lab, Bailey.
Few old married couples, though, share so much athleticism or a competitive jones quite so strong. Despite two broken wrists, Humphrey started all 12 games last year for the Longhorns as a redshirt sophomore, and he's almost certainly headed for a pro football career. A onetime junior high school cheerleader, Kelli can be charming and at times downright kittenish, but she is clearly most comfortable trying to outmacho her brothers, father and fiancé, listen to her and Humphrey joust in what began as a playful exchange about who can drive a golf ball farther.
"Well, I can beat you at anything but golf," says Humphrey, throwing down the gauntlet.
"You can't beat me in s—-," says Kuehne. "I can kick your ass in Ping-Pong, I can kick your ass in tennis...."
"When did we ever play tennis?" Humphrey asks plaintively.
"You know I can beat you in soccer," says Kuehne, pointedly ignoring him. "In basketball, if I had another 18 inches, I would definitely beat you."
"How can you say you'd beat me in basketball," moans Humphrey.
"You're just pissed because I kicked your ass in hearts last night," says Kuehne, ending the conversation.
With this gift for repartee, it's no wonder Kuehne is a broadcast journalism major. She talks of finishing her degree through correspondence classes and recently trudged through a drizzle to a makeshift classroom in the bowels of Texas's Memorial Stadium for a Kinesiology 352 lecture. Humphrey happens to be enrolled in the same course.
"I don't feel like being in class, baby," he says, squirming in his seat.