Four!

Have you seen the courses where the three remaining majors will be played? Start with the U.S. Open...

...which Tiger led near the end of the first round last year.

...but he ended up 82nd...

...as a college sophomore.

Can I finish?

Fine.

Start with the U.S. Open next week at Congressional, outside Washington. It has only two par-5s. It's not like the kid starts the week 16 under as he does at every other Tour stop. And Congressional isn't some TPC at Lob Wedges, either. It doesn't have ridiculously wide Augusta National fairways, where you could parallel park the Spruce Goose.

Hello? Congressional has only two par-5s because the USGA took two par-5s and called them par-4s. One of them, the 6th, is 475 yards with a lake in front of the green. Does that sound like a par-4 to you? You want to know how mean that hole is? Mike Tyson has a house on it, that's how mean. Not only that, but there are also seven other par-4s that are longer than 430 yards. In fact, at 7,213 yards, Congressional is the longest Open course in history. You don't think that has young Tiger written all over it? It's as his mom, Tida, said when she heard how long the place is: "Oh, that fits Tiger."

Yeah? Does his mom know who won on the next four longest Open courses? Hale Irwin at Medinah in 1990, Gary Player at Bellerive in '65, Lee Janzen at Baltusrol in '93 and Tony Jacklin at Hazeltine in '70. That's not exactly Murderers' Row. Every one of them is a dink hitter. Tiger may he long, hut he's 44th on the Tour in driving accuracy, and every time you miss a fairway at Congressional, you're in deep, deep yogurt.

Let me tell you some of the guys who won at Congressional when it was the site of the Kemper Open on the Tour: Greg Norman, who did it twice, and Fred Couples and Bill Glasson. All of 'em are longer than your neighbor's vacation slide show.