Four!

Let me ask you something. Do you remember reading Norman's obit? Because I sure don't. Not only has Norman won at Congressional, but he also finished second the last time the British was at Troon, in 1989, and second at Winged Foot when the Open was held there in '84. You think he's going to all these places just to help the engraver spell Tiger's name? Remember, while Tiger is in the center of a giant Metallica concert every week, Norman is getting rested, focused and pumped. I even talked to him about it. Norman said, "Tiger has got a roll going right now, but guys have been talking about winning the Slam for decades. Every time somebody comes along with charisma and a game, people start talking about the Slam. Tiger is no different than Arnold was, than Jack was or than Seve was. I can remember that being written about me. Tiger could be the One, and he may not be the One. Tiger is just as capable of winning the Slam as Watson was, as Nicklaus was, but no more capable. And I'm not just going to give up the rest of the year to him." So, you see what I mean? Forget about a shark and you're bound to get bit.

Yeah. And listen to what Tom Watson said.

What?

When he heard about the odds, Watson said, "Twenty-five to one? I'd like some of that."

Do you have any idea how crazy the U.S. Open is going to be? They're making security plans as if President Clinton were coming every day. And he won't be coming to see Omar Uresti, pal. And then, if the kid wins there, what do you think Troon will be like? You know they don't cap attendance there, don't you? You know that kids under 18 get in free with a paying adult, don't you? You think that might be a little bonkers, 50,000 little Nigels running around, going, "Mumsy, I'll simply die if Tiger won't come to tea!" Then, should Tiger somehow win at Troon, can you imagine what New York City, the center of the free world, will be like with the Grand Slam on the line? You 'II have guys pole-vaulting fences, parachuting onto the practice range and burrowing up into the 3rd green. As Pat Collins, the caddiemaster at Winged Foot, says, "We'd need the Army, Navy, Air Force and the Marines. Try playing golf with that on your back.

Wait a second. Just think about it. If you're in the middle of a forest, does it matter if you're surrounded by a thousand trees or a million? Either way, all you see are trees. Tiger has been in this vortex for almost a year now. He's used to it. He's got three cops with him everywhere. He's got more marshals than Miss Kitty. He's got agents and no-men and a very protective entourage. And he's smart. You ask him if he reads coverage of himself, he goes, "Why should I? I was there." If anything, Tiger is the only guy who might be able to handle modern Grand Slam pressure, because he's used to it. Every day is like the last day of Saigon.

Forget it. This isn't a kids' movie: Tiger and Fluff's Big Adventure. There's no way. Winning golf's Grand Slam is the hardest feat in sports. The Triple Crown has been won 11 times in horse racing and 16 times in baseball. Tennis's Grand Slam has been achieved six times. But nobody's ever won the modem Grand Slam of golf, and nobody ever will.

I guess Bobby Jones in 1930 was a publicist's hoax?

Please. The guy wins the U.S. and British Opens and the U.S. and British Amateurs. You don't get credit for jayvee games.

And Hogan in 1953 with the near Slam?