Ah, well, there's still a few Yank consolations: We can probably whip the Europeans country against country. And Tiger could draw cards for any three Euros' combined net worth. But we will never have a Seve. To the end Seve was the King of Spain. He called this win his "greatest achievement," then resigned from the job, saying he would like to return as a player for the '99 Ryder Cup and then captain again in "maybe 2005." Any questions?
If the U.S. ever wants to beat him, it must do the following, as soon as possible:
1) Move the Ryder Cups held in the U.S. to courses the American players know. Forget The Country Club in Brookline, Mass., site of the '99 Cup. American Tour players don't go there. How about the TPC at Sawgrass? Or Augusta National? Think Tiger might get more than a point and a half there?
2) Dump this happy-family stuff. Get an s.o.b. in there—Hale Irwin, maybe?—who won't care if he spikes some toes. I don't care how late it is, I said we're going out to hit two-irons! Let's move! And....
3) Call the Penske people. We gotta get working on a better golf cart.