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Need an Excuse? Take It from the Pros
Rick Reilly
March 16, 1998
Hey, kids! Next time you're in serious doo-doo, do what big leaguers do: Deny, alibi and justify! It's easy with this handy annotated excuse card! Just cut it out, keep it in your pocket and use it the next time the heat's on you!
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March 16, 1998

Need An Excuse? Take It From The Pros

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[2] Boston Red Sox outfielder Mo Vaughn's reason, stated by his lawyer, for failing eight sobriety tests (when asked to recite the alphabet, he couldn't get past P) and refusing to take a Breathalyzer during an arrest for drunken driving.

[3] New York Mets outfielder Bernard Gilkey, when asked about a police report on his DWI arrest. According to the report, he swayed from side to side during sobriety tests and, when told to close his eyes and bring his outstretched finger to his nose, hit his mouth.

[4] Dallas Cowboys coach Barry Switzer on how he could've forgotten he was carrying a loaded revolver when he passed through an airport security check.

[5]More reasons given by Vaughn's lawyer for the failed sobriety tests.

[6]Another reason Vaughn's lawyer gave for the failed sobriety tests.

[7] Cincinnati Bengals running back Corey Dillon after being arrested for DUI, driving with a suspended license, running over a curb, refusing to take a field sobriety test and refusing to take a blood-alcohol test.

[8]Vaughn's lawyer's charge that the blame for Vaughn's crashing his pickup truck into an abandoned car should be laid on the Massachusetts state police for not having removed the car, which had broken down and been left on the highway shoulder for 13 hours. During that time thousands of other motorists had driven by it without incident.

[9] Philadelphia 76ers forward Derrick Coleman on his arrest for disorderly conduct at a Detroit nightclub. ( Coleman's case ended in a mistrial.).

[10]Canadian Olympic officials' explanation for why snowboarding gold medalist Ross Rebagliati failed a test for marijuana in Nagano. Rebagliati said he hadn't smoked the weed in 10 months but probably tested positive because of inhaling second-hand smoke at a snowboarders' party.

[11]Jerry Poe, a high school teammate of former Red Sox manager Butch Hobson, after Hobson was arrested with an overnight package from Poe containing two grams of cocaine.

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