Ask A Silly Question

There were many intelligent exchanges between players and reporters at Augusta. Then there were these Q and A's that should have been DQ'd (plus what the player probably wanted to say).

Q: With all the young players...do you feel sometimes you have to be seven-foot-one to keep them from taking you to the hoop?

Tom Kite: No, you don't have to be seven-foot-one, but you need to make a few 20-footers. (I think you're confusing me with Dikembe Mutombo.)

Q: Could you expound on your parents?

Lee Westwood: Mum's Trish.... She's got down to a 21 handicap.

Q: Can she beat you?

Westwood: No. There's no doubt I'm the best in our family.
(I generally break 90, Einstein.)

Q: Will it be "the full monty" if you win?

Colin Montgomerie: I won't be doing that if I win, I can tell you. (Unless Gary McCord lends me some bikini wax.)

Q: If God came down and said, "Tiger, you can win only one major this year," which major would it be?