You won't believe who just set the NCAA back 25 years. The NCAA! Last week it did the single dumbest thing to college sports since Chris Webber took math. It's going to allow athletes to take jobs during the school year that are set up by team boosters. Boosters!
Whoo-eeee, this is going to be rich.
Seven-foot-six student-athlete: "Uh, I'm here about the job?"
Insanely rich booster: "Well, that's fine, son. Your job is to shovel my walk and driveway twice a week."
Seven-foot-six student-athlete: "Uh, well, ain't we in Gainesville?"
Insanely rich booster: "Well, hell, son, that's why it don't pay but $72.50 an hour!"
Welcome to the era of the $10,000 Domino's tip. The NCAA spent a thousand years trying to keep boosters from players, and now, with the go-ahead last week from the Division I board of directors—15 apparently brain-dead college presidents—the boosters are permitted to pay players!
HELP WANTED: Doorstop operator. No experience necessary. No references necessary. No work necessary. 4.3 speed in the 40 necessary.
"This thing is so chockful of problems, it'll never work," says Colorado football coach Rick Neuheisel. "We just lost the Southwest Conference to boosters, and now we're bringing boosters right back in."
The new rule is known as Proposition 62, the coaches detest it, and it starts on Aug. 1. Athletes can earn as much as $2,000 during a school year by working in jobs arranged through the athletic department, coaches or "athletic interests." Your basic athletic interest is a fat guy who wears Georgia underwear, has a doorbell that plays the Georgia fight song and owns the Dawg-Gone Good Lincoln-Buick-Isuzu dealership in Athens.