Spread the jing around. There's nothing uglier than a man in a $3,000 Armani stiffing a coat-check girl.
O.K., so you didn't grow up with a father. Then go be one. Make a difference in the life of one kid who is not your own, and it'll give you more joy than a lifetime shoe contract.
Just a reminder: You will die someday.
Stop thumping your chest. The line blocked, the quarterback threw you a perfect spiral while getting his head knocked off, and the good receiver drew double coverage. Get over yourself.
Give the bodyguard the night off once in a while and wade into the people. Some are sort of cool.
Loosen up a little with the quotes. This isn't a congressional budget hearing. Why say, "I really was shooting well today" when you could say, "I was hotter than a three-dollar pistol."
Once a season, let your offensive guard spike the ball.
See the woman up there in section 595, row WW, seat 29? She makes $26,000 a year, paid $22 a ticket for her family and just plunked down $17 for three Cokes and a warm beer. Treat her nice. Without her, you're a 320-pound bouncer with half a P.E. degree.
Go easy on the tattoos. By the time you're 60, that hula girl on your biceps is going to look like Don Knotts.
This just in: You can do community service without being sentenced. Try it. Have somebody leak it to the media. There are worse things than people seeing a millionaire painting an old lady's house.