Excuse us for a moment while we faint.
The kid is selling out in cities he's visiting for the first time. Asked if he'd ever been to Atlanta before last weekend, he replied, "Yeah, once, in the middle of the night, on a bus, in Double A. They woke us up as we drove by the new stadium. Then we went back to sleep."
Just to wake the rook up, Cubs veterans have stolen his clothes and made him board the team charter wearing a 1970s disco outfit. They have locked him in the bathroom for 45 minutes. They have fined him for every imaginable offense: Sitting, not sitting, sitting in one place too long. "We don't want to get too rough on him," says catcher Scott Servais. "He's going to be in this game a helluva lot longer than the rest of us, and we'll need to get on his pass list."
This week Wood returns to Wrigley Field for the first time since he hung his 20-strikeout Michelangelo on the Houston Astros on May 6. The Cubs expect a sellout, the first of many, knock on Wood. Two weeks later, on June 16, he'll turn 21. He's making the major league minimum, $170,000, is worth 30 times that and can't even figure out how to spend the $75 per diem he gets now. "I can't think of a single thing I need for my birthday," he says. "Usually, I ask for money, and my parents give me $20 in an envelope. Maybe I'll just do that again."
Seriously, couldn't you just cry?