Ole Miss Funkiest: A month after undergoing laser eye surgery and then blowing a Sunday lead at the Kemper Open, Fred Funk stayed on the beam at last week's Deposit Guaranty Classic in Madison, Miss. "I was a nervous wreck before 13," he said of the hole where he ran in a 30-foot birdie putt, "but I relaxed after that." Funk won his fifth Tour title and $216,000.
Johnny on the Spot: Golf Channel commentator Doug Tewell took a not-so-veiled shot at Johnny Miller after shooting a first-round 66 at the Deposit Guaranty. "I don't compare my game to the way others play. I try not to put myself on a pedestal the way some guys do," said Tewell, who fell to 14th on Sunday.
Great White Guppy: Twelve-year-old Gregory Norman (below, with Papa Shark) shot 105-103 in last week's Junior Open Championship in Formby, England. The shortest player in the field finished 25 shots behind playing partner Michael Watson, the 15-year-old son of Tom, and 60 behind winner David Inglis. "He got into the rough," said the Shark, "and at his age he doesn't have the strength to get back out Give him time, he'll be all right"
Pleasure and Pain: Last week at Pleasureland, an amusement park near Royal Birkdale, Tom Lehman executed a handstand that wowed his daughters but left golf's Kerri Strug unable to lift his right arm. Lehman winced his way through two rounds and missed the cut at the British Open.
No Doubt: Colin Montgomerie, another victim of the cut, blew up at a BBC cameraman and at a spectator who addressed him by one of his least favorite nicknames, Mrs. Doubtfire. The embattled Scot may soon be dubbed Touchiest Player Never to Win a Major.
No Leeway: English fans know about Lee Westwood, but when U.S. Open champ Lee Janzen entered the Birkdale locker room, an attendant asked, "Are you a qualifier?" Janzen said, "I'm exempt. Get used to my face. I'll be coming here for the next 10 years."
Strapping Jock: Corey Nakatani is the John Daly of jockeys. At a recent celebrity long-drive contest the 61-inch thoroughbred rider, who weighs 111 pounds, clouted one 312 yards.
House Of Payne: According to the annual Payne Stewart's Guide to Golf, Stewart's mansion in Orlando features "walk-in closets the size of living rooms," a foyer with a player piano, a putting room carpeted with artificial turf, and big-screen TVs tuned perpetually to the Golf Channel. Still, the magazine asserts that Casa Stewart "is not pretentious" and "has a modicum of modesty."
Nice Ti: Greg Powers, 52, got a new hip after a near-fatal car crash in 1992. "Other guys have titanium drivers. I've got a titanium hip," says Powers, who challenged for the lead at the Deposit Guaranty before fading to 64th place. No word on whether the USGA will investigate the spring in his step.