The tiny Ruth throws Cobb against the air freshener.
"You don't want that ball sittin' in some greasy billionaire's den forever!" shouts Ruth. "Look, a Florida man caught Barry Bonds's 400th home run last week and gave it straight to Bonds, even though a guy in the stands offered him $5,000. Orel Hershiser was so impressed, he gave the guy the five grand anyway!"
"Right," says Cobb. "Like Ron Gant is gonna rip you a check for a million. Hey! What about the kid who caught Roger Maris's 61st? Sal Durante? He went out and got what he could for it."
"And what has Sal Durante been doing the last 30 years?" asks Ruth.
"Driving a bus."
"See!" Ruth yells, really mad now. "Why's this gotta be about greed?"
"Because baseball is about greed!" Cobb bites back. He turns to you and says, " McGwire was one of the players who went on strike when the average salary was, what, more than $1 million? Free agents sell out teammates and fans every year for greed. Why do you think that ball you're holding is marked with a stamp that can only be seen in ultraviolet light? Because nobody else is thinking about money? If you give it back, you'll be the only guy in this without greed."
"O.K., so give it to the Hall of Fame," says Ruth.
"Nah. If you're too stupid to sell it, why not open up a store at the Mall of America and charge people $5 to hold it? You could sell stuff, too. McGwire T-shirts, McGwire sweat bands, Andro-6. You'd make a killin'!"
"Why, I oughta—"