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Anatomy of a Fan (It Ain't Pretty)
Steve Rushin
October 12, 1998
"You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements."—Norman Douglas, in the novel South Wind, 1917*
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October 12, 1998

Anatomy Of A Fan (it Ain't Pretty)

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You don't pay me a dime unless I show you a profit this football season! (It is the individual's responsibility to determine whether these services are permitted under the laws of one's own jurisdiction.)

Bad credit? Don't sweat it!

No credit? No problem!

Seized cars from $175. Homes for pennies.

Three suits for $68. $50 tuxedos: We carry up to size 60.

Don't get eaten alive by the IRS. You can get a pistol permit now!

Divorce? Bankruptcy? Repo? We Buy/Sell/Trade Guns/Knives/ Ammo.

Cable TV converters. Police radar jammers.

Come to where the flavor is. (Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide.) Another fine product from U.S. Tobacco. (This product may cause mouth cancer.)

A safe replacement for STEROIDS! Anything stronger is ILLEGAL! (A small number of men experience certain sexual side effects.)

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