A: Sure. Because of the NBA lockout, I had heard, a lot of stars were hangin' at the Westside Tennis Club in Houston, where the Rockets usually practice. So I asked the club president if I could play, and he said, "O.K., but only for the first 10 minutes when the pros are still kind of warming up. That way there's a chance you might not get killed."
Q: Did you?
A: Well, I admit, on the first trip down I did an unwise thing: I tried to set a pick for Shaq on the 6'9", 250-pound McDyess. But I was only without breath for maybe 75 to 90 seconds, tops.
Q: Whom did you guard?
A: I didn't know him, but I assumed he was either a lottery pick or a college star from the area.
Q: You got smoked by a complete nobody, didn't you?
A: Like a trout. He turned out to be 27-year-old Ramone Veal, who, while never having been in the NBA, did play in the pro leagues of Colombia, where I'm guessing that he was a living legend.
Q: What's this about you gagging a wide-open 15-foot jumper?
A: Does anyone else have a question?
Q: I'm the only one here.