A: Yes, it's true, but, philosophically, can any jumper truly be considered "wide open" when you're being guarded by a Colombian living legend?
Q: I heard you blew an alley-oop pass, too.
A: O.K., Shaq made this great block and fired an outlet to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a teammate streaking toward the hoop. Now, in my usual game at the Y, we do not get a lot of chances to throw alley-oops. Dr. Manny Glickstein, the urologist, generally can't get that high, and certainly not Father Casey. So, I thought, why not? I lofted a perfect pass only to find that the streaking player was the Jazz's Chris Morris, who, while a wonderful shooter, would not be considered a leaper in a herd of elephants. He couldn't quite reach my pass and instead only batted it off the glass with his fingertips.
Q: You airmailed the poor guy.
A: Yes. So now the ball is loose, right? What do I do? I swoop in, rebound it, blow past Timberwolves guard Stephon Marbury like he's a YIELD sign and kiss it sweetly off the glass for two.
Q: You blew past Stephon Marbury.
A: Yes, in the sense that he was sitting in a chair under the basket support. Still, the fact remains, my career NBA lockout line reads: 10 minutes played, .500 shooting percentage and one rebound. Plus, I outscored Shaq, who had zero points during my stint.
Q: I'm not surprised, with you as his point guard. Did you guys talk?
A: I did tell him once, "Next time down, gimme the pill and run an iso for me." He did not laugh.
Q: So, did you win?