All the Fans
out in Fandom loved
hoops a whole lot....
But the Grinch, a Stern fun-Hunter, surely did NOT!
As the season drew near he grew antsy with ire,
And said, "Who needs hoopsters who keep
All this slammin'
and jammin' for Fan girls and boys
Is a waste, and the Fans make a NOISE
Then he got an idea.
An awful idea!
The Grinch got a lawful, god-awful idea!
"For re-openers," he said, "I have every right
To instantly douse every hoops fan's delight.
I'll do it by fiat, for I have the key
To freezin' the season contractually!"
He jumped in his
sports car and
off the Grinch sped,
A plan for door-slammin' a-jammin' his head.
The Summit, the Garden, the Forum—
he LOCKED 'EM!
As deadlines ticktocked and Fans squawked,
he just mocked 'em.
union and management both shared the blame
For helping that mean,
stingy Grinch pinch the game.
Now the Sonics were silenced,
Hawks grounded, Knicks nixed,
The Blazers extinguished, the Sixers deep-sixed,
The Suns all eclipsed, the Heat on the blink,
The T-wolves D-fanged, and the Raptors extinct.
"I'm putting the Fans on a cold-turkey diet!
With X-mas X-ed out, I'll seize Z's—
PEACE AND QUIET!"
Said the Grinch, kicking back in his luxury box,
Glad he had iced all the owners and jocks.
It was Ewing's undoing, no Falkin' around—
From this, neither
players nor clubs
a sound, passing strange, dribbled into his ear.
A sound sounding more and
more now like a CHEER—
It was quiet at first—
the cruel creature'd heard worse—
But soon the old Grinch thought his eardrums
For soccer, the Fans cheered,
and wrestling and hockey,
Sailing, hay-baling and reruns of Rocky,
Rodeo on radio, bingo and Ping-Pong,
And Carmen a-ringing the Worm's