Now he's got to get it up and down out of a greenside bunker just to make the playoff, which he does. Of course, by then he needs a whisky, a massage and emergency psychoanalysis and proceeds to lose to someone named Paul Lawrie, who is as shocked as anybody to even be in the playoff, seeing as he might as well be a vacationing upholsterer from Glasgow.
"For a time," decides Christopher, "thees was zee best day of my life. Now, it iz zee worst."
Van de Velde put on a brave face for the fans, but once in the scoring trailer, he sobbed into his hands. "Next time," he said, bittersweetly, "I'll hit zee wedge. You'll say I'm a coward, but I'll hit zee wedge."
No, next time, give Christopher the wrong dates.