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Welcome to Los Angelose!
Rick Reilly
August 16, 1999
Congratulations, Los Angeles, you're the worst sports city in the country! Arsenic for everybody!
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August 16, 1999

Welcome To Los Angelose!

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You wanted the Coliseum. Had to save the Coliseum. Uh, L.A.? Hello? People won't go to the Coliseum. Let it die, already. The Romans had a nice one too, and they got over it.

But everything's cool, right? To you, the NFL if just another spec script. Green-light it or pass, no big deal. Another one will come along. If it's on, fine; if not, there's always the nightly high-speed police chase.

The people I feel sorry for are the folks putting out the sports sections. The other day the Los Angeles Times had two soccer stories on the first sports page: Mexico over Brazil and the big LA Galaxy exhibition victory over Chivas of Guadalajara.

Not that you want champions, anyway. You've got enough riots as it is, right? Come to think of it, you don't really want teams All you want is something to get your mind off the worst parts o: living in L.A.—the crime, the smog and Carrot Top. And your teams give you all the distraction you need. This is no joke: The other night at Edison Field, Scoop, one of the Angels' inexplicable bear mascots, was handing out free Sharon Stone videos. Nice souvenir for the kiddies. Daddy is that really her uniform?

Beat LA.? Doesn't everybody?

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