If Stern did that, he'd rank somewhere between Wayne Gretzky and The Guess Who on the list of Canada's heroes, but Vancouverites aren't counting on it. "Trust me, the Grizzlies are gone," says Scott, adding that he won't be unfurling his red-and-white Canadian flag at Vancouver games. "This year," he says, "I'll be waving a black one."
Honer Thy Muther
USC tailback Sultan McCullough loves his mom so much that he has MABLE tattooed across his chest in four-inch-high letters. One hitch: She spells her name M-A-B-E-L. "It doesn't really matter," she told the Los Angeles Times. "That's my baby. He's such a sweet young man."
No S—-, Shulock
In Philip Roth's The Great American Novel, pitcher Gil Gamesh, peeved at home plate umpire Mike (the Mouth) Masterson, hits him in the neck with a 120-mph fastball. Last week veteran American League umpire John Shulock accused Devil Rays southpaw Wilson Alvarez of taking a page out of Roth's book.
In the bottom of the third on Sept. 20, the Angels' Garret Anderson homered off Alvarez to give Anaheim a 7-1 lead. Matt Walbeck came up, and Alvarez threw a fastball that whacked Shulock flush in his mask. Alvarez would claim he had accidentally crossed up catcher Mike DiFelice, but the ump thought otherwise. He shouted at Alvarez and jawed at DiFelice, jabbing a finger into the catcher's chest protector. Tampa Bay manager Larry Rothschild pulled Alvarez from the game, which the Angels went on to win 10-5.
Afterward Shulock, who would be suspended for three games by American League president Gene Budig for his outburst, went off on Alvarez. "He's going to get his," he announced darkly, leaving listeners to wonder how objective he'll be the next time he calls a game Alvarez pitches. "I know in my heart that son of a bitch meant to hit me.... The only things he could hit all night were the Angels' bats and my mask," Shulock said. "One of these days somebody is going to hit a line drive off the side of his f———head, and I'll be the first guy laughing."