The Bcs Formula: Bad Will Hunting

T: Twinkie factor, computed by multiplying Virginia Tech's margin of victory over �clairs James Madison, Rutgers and Temple by the number of people who are impressed.

?: Number of teeth in Virginia Tech home crowd divided by number of shoes. (Usually equals 1.)

?: Lovey-dovey quotient given to SEC member Tennessee, which is ranked seventh by the coaches and sixth by the writers but fourth by the BCS, whose rankings just happen to be calculated at SEC headquarters.

cor: Number of Vols who think they drive a Toyota Corollary.

?: Average weight of your school's Delta Gamma sisters.

cos: Number of Vols who had boosters cosign on their Toyota Corollaries.

?: Rank in the AP poll, whose 70 college football writers might know a little more about the game than a math grad student yet count for less than 0.18% each toward the BCS rankings, 17 times less than the grad student.

�: Times easily duped Arizona State running back J.R. Redmond has had marriages annulled.

?:Rank of pie in food ratings by unmarried stat freak Richard Billingsley, who runs one of the BCS computer rankings and also informally rates his favorite foods.

A: Rank in USA Today/ ESPN poll, whose 59 college coaches damn sure know more about football than a math grad student yet count for less than 0.22% each, 14 times less than the grad student.