Blotter

Unflapped
? Formula One rookie Jenson Button, 20, Of England, who negotiated the Australian Grand Prix course on the opening day of practice while a bird flapped around in his cockpit. After qualifying second-to-last in the 22-car pecking order, Button winged his way to a 10th-place finish in Sunday's race.

Nicked
?Firstar Bank of Cincinnati, which is suing Nuggets guard Nick Van Exel for fraud after Van Exel, making a reported $8 million this season, allegedly said he couldn't pay a $19,000 credit card balance. A Firstar employee, who didn't know that Van Exel was an NBA star, accepted $12,000 to settle the account.

Nixed
? Rebecca Lobo, as an analyst on ESPN's telecasts of the women's college basketball tournament. The NCAA, Solomon-like, has determined that because she's now a pro, it wouldn't be appropriate for Lobo—one of the best players in women's collegiate basketball history—to call NCAA tournament games.

Published
?Loose Balls, by the Nets' Jayson Williams. The title of the first book by Williams, whose name is eerily similar to those of the Kings' Jason Williams and Duke's Jason Williams, is eerily similar to the foremost book on the old ABA, Terry Pluto's Loose Balls.

Fixed
?A Dodgers ad created by the Seattle-based agency WongDoody promoting a "buy two, get two free" ticket offer, after complaints about the ad's copy, which said buyers could give the extra pair to "your kids, your clients, or the two schmucks down the street...." The Dodgers assumed responsibility for the boner but said neither the copywriter nor the team exec who approved the ad knew that the Yiddish word schmuck refers to male genitalia.