Life Off Payne

The golf channel is telecasting its Payne Stewart biography, but if we were to make our own biopic about the late 1999 U.S. Open champion (and had an unlimited budget), here's whom we would cast.

Our hero PAYNE STEWART
Action Hero BRUCE WILLIS
Life partner TRACEY STEWART
Lifetime staple TERI GARR
Friendly upstart CASEY MARTIN
Friends' MATTHEW PERRY
Flop-shot artist PHIL MICKELSON
Foppish HUGH GRANT
Party boy JOHN DALY
Party boy DREW CAREY
Handsome stoic NICK FALDO
Handsome stoic HARRISON FORD
Sagacious caddy FLUFF
Wise old-timer WILFORD BRIMLEY
Aussie icon GREG NORMAN
Aussie icon PAUL HOGAN
The incomparable TIGER WOODS
The incomparable TIGER WOODS