Welcome once again our mysterious visitor from the East—seer, sage, soothsayer—Carnac the Magnificent, who will, in his divine and mystical way, ascertain the answers to your sports questions without ever having seen them.
Ready, Oh Great One?
Carnac: I must have absolute silence....
Answer: Haywoode Workman
Question: How do you greet the guy who comes to do your woodwork?
A: Bimbo Coles
Q: What do naughty Lakers Girls find in their Christmas stockings?
A: Sacrifice bunt
Q: What should you do if a gunman demands your bundt cake?
A: Buck privates