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End Games
Jeff MacGregor
October 02, 2000
In an imaginary colloquy, NBC's top talents ponder why the Olympics are a ratings dud
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October 02, 2000

End Games

In an imaginary colloquy, NBC's top talents ponder why the Olympics are a ratings dud

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ANNOUNCER: Once again, from the NBC Olympic broadcast center in Sydney, here's Bob Costas.

BOB COSTAS: Welcome back, everyone. Joining me for Hour 12 of Day 15 to begin Week 3 of our coverage is NBC anchor Mr. Tom Brokaw.

TOM BROKAW: Thanks, Bob. You make it sound like a hostage crisis! Ha-ha-ha!

BC: Ha-ha-ha! If only! Then we might pull a rating! But seriously, that was another terrific profile we just saw—the excitingly edited story of an athlete overcoming incredible adversity to chase her golden dreams.

TB: Indeed. As I said several hours ago, before we went to that last commercial break, I've never met a braver young woman. She survived a water-park flume accident that took the lives of her foster parents and her parole officers, escaped the bloody collapse of her home government by crossing the border in an overnight prepaid bulk mailer and, using only a toaster oven and some Knox gelatin, perfected the serum with which she saved the lives of her 23 brothers and sisters during a virulent outbreak of....

BC: Tom, excuse me for interrupting, but I'm receiving late-breaking word from network headquarters that our sole remaining viewer, a Mr. Leopold Zipp of Urbana, Illinois, has just turned off his TV set. Citing fatigue and tomorrow's VFW pancake breakfast, Mr. Zipp notified NBC Sports chairman Dick Ebersol via telephone that he would try to rejoin us Saturday or Sunday. Maybe. After he puts up the storm windows. So....

TB: So.

BC: Well. There it is. This is awkward.

TB: I wasn't expecting this. Were you?

BC: You'd think people would watch the Olympics. Who doesn't watch the Olympics?

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