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Major League Torture
Rick Reilly
October 16, 2000
For reasons that scientists don't fully understand, there are still a few humans in this country who watch baseball games on television from start to finish, without the use of restraints, amphetamines or toothpicks. Personally, for pure excitement, I rank watching baseball on TV just below fungus sculpture and the new 12-part PBS documentary on gout. "That's because you haven't watched playoff baseball," the seamheads say. "You gotta watch a playoff game"
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October 16, 2000

Major League Torture

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For reasons that scientists don't fully understand, there are still a few humans in this country who watch baseball games on television from start to finish, without the use of restraints, amphetamines or toothpicks. Personally, for pure excitement, I rank watching baseball on TV just below fungus sculpture and the new 12-part PBS documentary on gout. "That's because you haven't watched playoff baseball," the seamheads say. "You gotta watch a playoff game"

So I did. I watched every minute of Game 2 of last week's Oakland Athletics- New York Yankees Division Series. From the first pitch to the last. Without being under house arrest. I had a stopwatch, a notepad and a VCR. The Yankees won 4-0. This is what I saw.

Close-ups of Yankees manager Joe Torre: 66.

Close-ups of Torre staring straight ahead: 28.

Close-ups of Torre spitting: 3.

Close-ups of Torre nodding: 2.

Close-ups of Torre spitting and nodding: 1.

Close-ups of Torre wiping his nose: 1.

Close-ups of Torre having a notion to pick his nose but thinking better of it: 1.

Close-ups of Torre burping: 2.

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